


Dust in the Eye of the Maker

by elyus



Category: Westworld (TV)
Genre: Gen, Lawrence is lost, M/M, William is full of shit, what does 'it's in your nature' even mean anyway
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-05-07
Updated: 2018-05-07
Packaged: 2019-05-03 15:46:18
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,348
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/14572299
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/elyus/pseuds/elyus
Summary: The desert was the sum of all deserts, just as Pariah was the sum of all pariahs, and the girl was the sum of all girls that men with lonely hearts sought…They were larger than life.Too good for this damned world.Like a speck of dust, he was caught in the eye of the Maker.Lawrence wanted out.





	Dust in the Eye of the Maker

The desert was the sum of all deserts.

Now, that wasn’t quite true.

It was in fact, much, much smaller than, say, the Sahara or the Gobi, if only he had known about such places.

But the desert was hot, and glistening white.

It was also endless.

It was hard, cheating the desert and death.

He was as a speck of dust, caught in the eye of the maker.

He blinked.

 

Like all stories, his began _in media res._

 

Lawrence Pedro Maria Gonzalez, also known as El Lazo, was back in Pariah’s arms.

There was a half pint of rum in his hands. And for reasons, there was a flock of naked gold women.

If there was some dark irony to his name, he didn’t know it.

Somewhere, a fire was burning Craddock’s camp. The thought of it made him smile.

The man to his left did not drink. He sat there by the hearth, and rubbed his hands over the embers. A girl passing by stopped to put her fingers upon his lips. She paused, and thought better of it.

The girl walked over. “He’s a funny one, your friend.”

“Yea, they give me all the lunatics.” Lawrence said.

It had occurred to him that the man was a _gent_. The way he dressed. The way he spoke.

Men like him had no business in these parts. But here he was all the same.

It had also occurred to him that those who charge into army camps with a revolver are not exactly sane.

“What did you say your name was?”

The man looked up. “William.”

“So, William, what are you going to do with all that gold? Buy a _bigger_ gun? Buy _all_ the guns?”

“You can have it,” William said. “I have my gun.”

“That’s mighty generous of you.” Lawrence smirked. _Fucking lunatic._

Something told him that he ought to tell William that he was sorry about his friend.

That couldn’t be right.

Instead, he said: “We’re leaving at dawn. You should come with us.”

“No, I have other things to do.”

“I could use a man like you.” He said, with maybe a hint of reproach.

“I’m sure you do, Lawrence.” William smiled, and somehow that made him seem worse. “But unless Robert’s gonna shake things up a bit around here, I don’t think I’ll be playing this game any longer.”

“Who’s this Robert?” Lawrence said, or at least that was what he thought. What he said was: “Now, war is no game. There’s a revolution going on 'round here.”

The men who passed through Pariah often said strange things. It was best to pay no attention.

El Lazo had gold, and an army.

At dawn, he left for Fort Forlorn Hope.

William was taking his horse for a drink. He was leaving too.

Lawrence studied the man. For some reason, there were scrapes on his coat, as if marks left by firearm.

He thought that out of common courtesy, he ought to say goodbye.

He wanted to say goodbye.

“I guess this is farewell, then.”

“I doubt it, Lawrence.” William said, “You always come around…oh, and look out for the ambush.”

When they reached the hills, he was still thinking.

What were those things?

_Men who charge at armies with a revolver are not sane…but what about those who come out of it unscathed?_

And what did he mean by ambush?

It suddenly occurred to Lawrence that he had never told the man _his name was Lawrence._

That’s when the ground exploded.

 

He blinked.

The desert was the sum of all deserts.

It sweltered and glistened white.

The girl he would never see again for ages to come. The boy he would always happen upon, not by chance. Never by chance.  

He had told the boy that he could use a man like him. He had seen in the boy the man she couldn’t see. All the worse for her, but not that it mattered.

If he had known about such things, he would’ve said that it was a memory.

But there was no remembering. No yesterday, no now, no future. It had always been like death. He had never had a dream or a thought. He had never met a human being. They were all like him. Or they were masks. It was exactly like death.

He closed his eyes, and it was _NOW_.

El Lazo had lost his men. The Confederados were in every shadow.

He was gambling with death.

Where was the man?

Taking off his gloves, and warming his hands over the remains of a fire.

He remembered, no, he _knew_ a night like this one.

The Confederados were in his city, in his halls, drinking his wine and fucking his gold-painted whores.

The boy had been full of reproach. “They’re just going take the nitro and slaughter your people…”

He had looked upon Blondie, who would’ve killed him and spat upon his grave, and thought that _why do the lunatics always find their way here?_

Blameless she was. There was something else in her too.

All the worse for her friend, but it didn’t matter.

It wasn’t that he could’ve seen it with all the love in his eyes.

Now, what was his name again?

“William,” he said. The love was gone and he came back.

 

They found the camp and killed all the men who killed her.

 

The sun was in his eyes.

He blinked, and the stranger tugged his noose.

 _Motherfucker_. “What the hell do you want?”

“The Maze.”

“Well, I ain’t got no maze for you, so why don’t you let me go?”

“You see, Lawrence,” said the man, “I’ve been playing this game for 30 years. I’ve played by Ford’s rules, and now I’m going to play by mine.”

“Who are you?”

“Think of me as an old friend. I’m here to help you.”

He was at a loss for words for once. 

But if he had known about such things, he would’ve realized that he had never spoken a word that came from his mouth. As a speck of dust, he was caught in the eyes of his maker.

He wanted out.

 

The desert was the sum of all deserts, just as Pariah was the sum of all pariahs, and the girl was the sum of all girls that men with lonely hearts sought…

They were larger than life.

Too good for this damned world.

“Why should I help you.” He asked the man.

“Because it’s in your nature.”

The man had told him he was free, but if he were free, where were the yesterdays, the nows, the thoughts and dreams, the memories?

He liked the man. He couldn’t help it. It was in his nature, written in his bones, the bane of his existence…

But is it true? He wondered.

Sometime after, the boy came back, and in his eyes, was already the flicker of the man he was and would become.

He had never seen the world the man had spoken of, but already he knew that his was merely a speck of dust on a world much bigger…a world that cared no more for him than wanton boys cared for flies between their fingers.

But the desert was the sum of all deserts.

And he thought that he ought to be the sum of something too.

He had never known a human being, maybe except one.

He drank the rum and headed for Pariah.

They had no business there, men like them. Yet here they were, and Pariah burned.

He watched as the man put bullets into the corpse of their leader.

El Lazo, the name was mighty familiar.

Something about a man, Robert (the man had asked him if he believed in some higher power). Where had he known the name before? He supposed that he heard it in a dream.

 _Guess he did shake things up a bit after all._ A thought came from nowhere.

“I didn’t catch your name.” Lawrence said to his newfound friend.

William looked at him. “It doesn’t really matter.”

**Author's Note:**

> I love Lawrence Pedro Maria Gonzalez and if MiB causes him to perma-die in S2 I hope Dolores drags his ass through hell. thanks for coming to my ted talk /s


End file.
